Let's be superficial and discuss the bodies of famous people for a second.

Ashlee Simpson's video for "Shadow" has revealed that it is possible for me to be revulsed on an artistic, musical and cultural level and still find the singer in question really frikkin' hot. It's all about that enormous schnozz. I'm grateful for this revelation because it's kind of nice to know I still have a little lust left in me.

Paul Banks is an acne-riddled pudge with a dumpy ass a la Julian "Pizza The Hutt" Casablancas. I've got bad skin and a rather curvy, awkward physique myself, so if anything this should endear him to me even more than his awkward hollers already have. You think I'd be kind and not point this out. Thing is, the video for "Slow Hands" tries to keep this fact hidden as much as possible (it's all wide shots or extreme close ups - dude won't be wearing summer colors anytime soon), lest people bring up the Pixies more than Joy Division and arty girls stop having that dream where he flies in through the window. Plus he has this big hair twirling moment while I get to stare at my ever-thinning dome in the mirror every morning. So fuck that. He's a puuudge.