Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Grammy Nominations!

Top Ten Artists I Want To See Get Love.

1. Usher: I will not be satisfied until he's kicked Timberlake's ass in every possible forum. I also want him to sweep because his egomania is even more hilarious when his sense of importance is corroborated by the world.

2. Maroon 5: I can't think of another artist this year who knocked out three consecutive singles as great as their first three, and I originally HATED the first two. Now I need to get the album. I am a fan, no apologies.

3. John Mayer: He's my caucasian!

4. Britney Spears: If "Toxic" gets one nomination then "Toxic" better get one Grammy.

5. Ryan Adams: Ryan Adams getting a Grammy for "Wonderwall" would make my day, cuz when it comes to bullshit like award ceremonies, irony is often sweeter than justice.

6. Franz Ferdinand: Britpop distilled into its most worthwhile elements: wry sex obsession, jagged guitars and dance beats. Better full-length than anything released by a buch of limey guys in the '90s. I think. Can't be bothered to check.

7. Velvet Revolver: Since Linkin Park and Jet were shafted, Slash's solo on the otherwise deeply mediocre "Slither" is possibly the only enjoyable thing nominated rawk-wise. Aside from those two bands, Evanescence and that solo, hard rock radio sucked this year. I think. Can't be bothered to check.

8. Modest Mouse: "Float On" only got a songwriting nomination because Isaac Brock sings like Bobcat Goldthwait. Bullshit!

9. The Killers: I've got beef with everyone else nominated for best rock album.

10. Jay-Z: Grammys will make him look more boring and hopefully increase the possibility of him truly retiring (plus "99 Problems" is pretty great).

I can't believe Mario Winans' Hurt No More was nominated for an award but not "I Don't Wanna Know." That album is ass!

Can someone tell Felizitas at SF/J that Good Charlotte stole their "straight-up racist" Marion Barry and O.J. Simpson jokes from Chris Rock's Bring The Pain? A fact which I saw fit to mention in my review? I'd tell him myself but there's no comments box. If you're looking for racist rock to rail against, I recommend "Wigga" by M.O.D., which is up at Launch. Did everybody just look the other way when the Madden Bros. showed up on the last NERD album? I refuse to believe people can't find something more offensive in rock than "Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous," which the band claims was inspired by reading a cranky Axl Rose interview in Rolling Stone as kids, and is over two frikkin' years old. If you're gonna bitch about the track, bitch about the co-option of Rock's material without songwriting credit or something. There's serious irony in calling out Good Charlotte as racists for calling out those celebrities as shameful public figures.

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