Five new videos on Launch worth checking out.

Mario "Let Me Love You": This is actually an audition tape Chris Rock gave to New Edition when Bobby Brown left. He didn't make the cut.

John Mayer "Daughters": Determined to win the 2004 Asshole World Series, Mayer drops a classy video for the ballad where he begs fathers to treat their daughters right so that they'll be kind and trusting when he tries to get with them (oh, and moms, teach these girls to be good mommies too. *wink*). Sure, I'm sympathetic, but I'm not really the target audience. Disturbingly hyper-confident singles plus the in-concert revelation of his hideous "oh"-face probably explains why Heavier Things stiffed commercially. That said, if any ladies out there dig Mayer's lyrics, hit me up. I can provide all the wry, self-obsessed commentary U need.

I suggest Usher respond to this salvo by releasing "Confessions, pt. 3 (Oh Yeah, About The Crabs) - feat. Jadakiss" on True Confessions: Special Edition II - Unfinished Business, only available at Best Buy.

Shifty "Turning Me On": I believe that's Three Times One Minus One standing behind him. The dude has no clue.

Shania Twain feat. Mark McGrath "Party For Two": Just as Travis Morrison got a little busy with the sound-effects when left alone in the studio, McGrath overcompensates for the lack his goofy Sugar Ray compadres by mugging every second he's on the screen. Stop flapping your arms, Mark. Shania gets winded trying to keep up. At the climax, they break plates over each others heads, shadow-box and swing on a rope. I shit you not. I kept waiting for the NBC logo to appear behind them.

U2 "Vertigo": Making up for the lack of a Monster: 10th Anniversary Edition release, U2 have unleashed the most incoherent no. 1 modern rock single since "What's The Frequency, Kenneth?" I refuse to believe they spent more than a day writing this thing, and I assume the director told them to mime in front of a blue screen, promising he'd put "all kindsa spinning and wind and vertigos and shit" around them later. I'm tempted to say that the failure of Lenny Kravitz's equally dippy glam-rock this year is due to racism (both did all kinds of cross-promotion crap), but it probably has to do with the lack of Bonofied bombast. I couldn't get through Kravitz's new "Lady" (something about how lady is a lady so crazy with the gravy lady oh lady), but I never have a problem waiting for the Edge to drop his patented ringtones halfway through this. HOLA!