For we find comfort in routine...
The Anthony Is Right Top Ten Videos Of The Week Or So. Woot Woot!!

#1) Hives "Two Timing Touch And Broken Bones": Tyrannosaurus Hives is winding up a real contender for my favorite album of the year, and this video does nothing to reduce that possibility. Now that their commercial chances seem nil, can these guys start being a critic's fave? Can I just say "Devo Meets Nuggets" again?

#2) Maroon 5 "She Will Be Loved": In which Sophie Muller reaffirms she is my favorite video director of all time (with respect to Spike Jonze). Instead of gimmicks she used actual people for effect. Visual craft is used to draw attention to the performer, not to the director. This is easily the most melodramatic work I've ever seen of hers and it's beautifully ridiculous. An instant classic story-video. Judging by his sex-obsessed interviews, it's highly possible that singer Adam Levine doesn't realize how campy his sex god shtick is, which makes it even more fun. I've GOT to start staring at women like he does. Cuz I know you want me. Grr.

#3) Mannie Fresh "Real Big": So much larger than life.

#4) Vanessa Carlton, "White Houses": Stephan Jenkins is a very lucky man.

#5) Jon B "Lately": Filmed in that parallel dimension where people give a shit about Jon B. The song's so catchy and his arms are flapping so wildly you have to assume he has NO idea that he's not well-known enough to get made fun of as much he's asking to be. He's still got the pleasures U like.

#6) Nelly feat. Christina Aguilera "Tilt Ya Head Back": I haven't seen it, but I really hope this video is actually a homage to Chicago Joe & And The Showgirl. We need a new chapter in the history of rappers referencing really crappy movies. I only like divas when they're prefixed by the word disco and Aguilera's back in her natural element here.

#7) Lil' Jon & The East Side Boyz "What U' Gon Do": Still the King Midas of music. His videos have ruined all parties for me. They're NEVER crunk enough.

#8) Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get It Started": I just can't stop staring at that one guy. You know who I'm talking about. Eegah.

#9) Gwen Stefani "What You Waiting For": It's a trip, but I think somebody should have reminded her of Blondie law: the goofy guys are necessary for contrast and to make your camera time more precious. Plus I could do without the self-reflexive lyrics.

#10) Lindsay Lohan "Rumors": Why can't you people just be satisfied by my cleavage? WHY? According to Launch this is being released by Casablanca Records. I don't know when they resurrected the name but it is SO apt. I wish it was she and not Petey Pablo that signed to Tha Row. Cuz, um, I kind of want these girls to start killing each other.