Jefferson Airplane “Stranger”: Marty Balin replacement Mickey Whothefuckever looks like Dave Foley in Bruce McCulloch’s fake mullet and moustache. There is a red door. A white scarf blows off Mickey’s face and he is nonchalant about it. Three guitars are employed. The twin guitar lead intro does NOT achieve Thin Lizzy grandeur. Grace Slick is visibly not well during the second verse. I think Loverboy would have taken this track to a whole ‘nutha level.

A-ha “Take On Me”: The climax is a riveting masterpiece of action-reaction collage worthy of Battleship Potemkin, though I wish the singer held out a roll of Mentos at the end. If an equally passionate animated music video was made between this and Linkin Park’s latest, please alert me to its existence.

Madonna “Open Your Heart”: If I’m not mistaken, this video introduced me to the concept of sex. In some ways I am still that little boy dancing in the front lobby, pestering an elderly Italian man for tickets. Madonna looks fleshy compared to pop stars of today (including herself). This is not an insult.

Cocteau Twins “Crushed”: Liz Fraser communicates with the mothership while the guys (who share similar haircut philosophies with the 19 year old me) explore new dimensions in reverb as green, blue and red lights shine upon them. Pretty.

Flock Of Seagulls “The More You Live, The More You Love”: The song is among their finest; vast new-wave gorgeousness (those spacious guitar notes add up to a single, wistful tear) with Mike Score warning us not to put our hearts in mortal danger. Sadly, the video reveals that the band is aiming for a relatively macho look, as they rock parkas on oceanside cliffs. All that remains of their youthful sci-fi vibe is a single octagon drum and the guitarist’s big sunglasses.