Tuesday, July 08, 2008


I'm slipping into the lava and I'm trying to keep from going under, baby.

Songs new to the Billboard Top 50 singles chart, and some Camp Rock shit.

#5 (debut): Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up"
Sophomore-album Maroon 5 meets sophomore-album Hanson, only less dynamic. David Carradine, Robert Davi and Danny Trejo guest star thanks to Joe Jonas' self-confessed love of "classic '80s pulp fiction shit."

#9 (from #11): Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas, "This Is Me"
Happy for you.

#19 (from #91): Sugarland, "All I Want To Do"
Is Fergie country now? Is Rob Thomas a woman now? I don't get it.

#31 (from #20): Jonas Brothers, "Play My Music"
I can't decide if hearing a Jonas scream for freedom rock over digitally neutered pop-punk is fascinating, unpleasant or both.

#36 (from #30): Joe Jonas, "Gotta Find You"
"I was watching Taxi Driver, and thinking about people likes Travis Bickle and John Hinckley, and I realized that stalkers are really just lonely, troubled people who don't know how to find happiness and tend to fixate on fantasy. This song is an attempt to empathize with that mentality. I realize the irony that by doing this, I run this risk of courting a similar fixation from members of my own fanbase. But I wouldn't want that kind of selfish concern get in the way of a greater good. And the only thing that gets me through the day is believing that the art I create is worth personal sacrifice." - Joe Jonas

#43 (debut): Sugarland feat. Little Big Town & Jake Owen, "Life In A Northern Town"
Was this done for, like, charity?

#49 (from #62): Jason Mraz, "I'm Yours"
Precocious hackeysack reggae: better or worse than Sugarland and the Jonas Brothers? If the hackeysack reggae artist in question interrupts his come-ons for a scat break? Worse.

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