DVDs and videos watched over god knows how long wow it's been awhile since I did one of these, from favorite to least.


Southern proto-mumblecore that gratefully loses its penchant for overly arch camera shots the longer it dwells on beam of sunshine Amy Adams.


Jack doing Shoot The Piano Player as a passive-agressive jerk, gradually arousing some sympathy by the end.


The first half details the workaday malaise of the border patrol engagingly enough that it's grating when Jack is forced to reaffirm his morals and fight Big-Time Corruption.


Southern proto-mumblecore that ironically gains a fondness for overly arch camera shots as the story progresses, before finally devolving into abstract visual poetry.


A flagrant example of Burton/Lynch late '80s/early '90s indulgent indie quirk made unique by the presence of Catherine Keener, who refuses to fit her pragmatic persona into Tom DiCillo's surreal fable. DiCillo's next film, Living In Oblivion, made after the rise of Tarantino, keeps only Keener and a profound sense of embarassment about attempts at dream logic in cheap indie films. Still, this is proof Brad Pitt is not a twinkie motherfucker.


John Malkovich as a pathetic, mentally unstable homosexual con artist. That's about it.


A tolerable potboiler smothered in Sick Soul of Europe sauce. More like Le Samourain't!


The Exorcist Vs. The Shining. At several points Rod Steiger appears to soil himself.


Do you want to know what a twenty-something Spike Lee's take on The Wanton Ways Of Woman was? Do you want his characters to tell the camera? I know this was Lee's debut film, but I still can't believe what sloppy juvenalia it is. School Daze, even with the Worst Ending Ever, was a big step forward. How many writer/directors filmed themself caressing the lead actress's tit in at least two of their first three films (can't remember if we actually saw him get down with Tisha Campbell in Daze)? Classy.


Luke Wilson gets the shit kicked out of him, which is always a good thing, but Frank Whaley's tweaker-Ned-Flanders homicidal maniac fails to disturb so much as annoy.


Will Ferrell, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson and Queen Latifah should be in a Michel Gondry film of a Charlie Kauffman script. Rob Schneider, Katie Holmes, Richard Dreyfuss, Joanna Lumley and Mo'Nique should have been in this.