This Was #12 On The Pazz & Jop Singles Poll

And yet I can't believe anyone enjoyed listening to it.



Eminem, if that 3% possibility happens, I'm going to blame the lack of a "Mosh '08."

Planned Comments: "I'm melting. Oh, I'm melting. What a world."

AP: John McCain's election night watch party might be missing John McCain. Instead of appearing before a throng of supporters at the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix on the evening of Nov. 4, the Republican presidential nominee plans to deliver postelection remarks to a small group of reporters and guests on the hotel's lawn.

Joe Lieberman Thrown Under The Bus

John McCain, discussing Sarah Palin on Don Imus this morning: "I think she's the most qualified of anyone recently who has run for vice president to tell you the truth... I'm frankly entertained at the elitist attitude toward a person who is a proven leader."

If we assume "recently" means the last decade, we can assume McCain ranks her qualifications above not just good buddy Senator Lieberman's, but Senator Joe Biden's, former Representative Dick Cheney's and former Senator John Edwards'. If that's the case, does that mean she's more qualified than Senator McCain?

I shouldn't be mocking what's obviously desperate overstatement, but it's too much fun.

What about Central PA, McCain?

I cannot stop watching this clip.

November 4th (Knock On Wood)

I thought LCD's "All My Friends" might wind up the official post-election indie-to-mainstream fluke hit, but the timing feels even better for Robyn's latest redux to possibly (finally) put her in our pop charts---especially if it's thrown in the right ad/movie/tv show/post-acceptance speech moment of euphoria. And if it works, we can look forward to hearing all her other '05, '06, '07 and '08 international hits over here in '09.

FOCUS GROUP SQUIGGLE MADNESS

Word up.

CNN's finger on the pulse of thirty "undecideds" (winners, all) in Ohio has been a matter of contention in my apartment. Leila likes the idea of "more information," while I call it "distracting bullshit" and swear I'll start throwing furniture if we don't switch to the calm of MSNBC. God forbid we don't find out what a gender split of THIRTY "undecideds" thought until immediately after the politicians have finished talking.

Joe The Plumber

Registered republican, unregistered plumber. Not even remotely close to getting a tax hike from Obama, even if he somehow finds a way to buy a $250,000 plumbing company.

It's great to finally give this archetype a name. Joe The Plumber: the guy who isn't rich now, but worries that if he somehow becomes rich, he won't enjoy it. Why? Because he'll pay 3 cents to the dollar more on what he makes over a quarter million. So we better be real nice to rich people, cuz someday he'll be one.

But hey, his name might be yanked from the voter rolls in Ohio, as it's misspelled. So no worries.

Not fresh meat, so much as finely aged wine.

Looks like Beating Live is hitting earlier than I expected. And since this scandal a) actually happened and b) directly relates to the issues, Obama can use it without looking like he's "changing the subject."

Read this Rolling Stone article if you're not sure you're going to enjoy watching McCain melt down on Tuesday.

OH SANP

Headlines about McCain getting aggressive would freak me out a little more if they suggested having any meat fresher than Bill Ayers. MSM's shredding that one apart before they even get to the debate, so Obama will be ready with his smackdown zing (which may rhyme with "beating live"). Hard to turn old non-controversies into game-changers when the media can't wait to watch you burn.

I'd also be more worried about the McCain campaign's plans for October if their zings were, like, spell-checked.

Happy birthday to me!

Gallup: Obama (D) 50%, McCain (R) 42%

Hotline/Diageo: Obama (D) 48%, McCain (R) 41%

Rasmussen: Obama (D) 51%, McCain (R) 45%

Res. 2000: Obama (D) 52%, McCain (R) 40%

Pollster: Obama (D) 50.1%, McCain (R) 42.5%

Obama Is Funny

It looks like the media's reaction to SNL's clumsy Obama-McCain debate sketch is going to be "hey, did you see Tina Fey as Palin again?" Darrell Hammond plays McCain well enough (Dana Carvey's Bush in a squat body), but with Obama set to win, they need to spend the next two weeks figuring out what Barack Obama's "game" is (my girlfriend is in a UCB-taught sketch comedy group so I've been learning the lexicon).

Obama's "game" is not the Chicago politics no one cares about (if the sketch inspires McCain's campaign to start yammering about Rezko, it's going to be, at worst, annoying, but still...), and it sure as fuck isn't "playing the race card." The latter bit was so off-key that they're either flailing perilously or acceding too much ground to "Ann Coulter pal" Jim Downey, with the show since 1976. "Fair and balanced" doesn't mean they have make up negative qualities. But the problem with mocking Obama is that what makes him such a promising and heroic figure in America isn't something you really want to mock unless you don't like him. For fans (which I assume most of SNL consists of), it's almost like trying to do a parody of Martin Luther King. What they need to realize is that he's not Martin Luther King.

Nothing on the show makes me laugh harder than his Nicholas Fehn, but Fred Armisen is all wrong for Obama. Obama is a nerd (remember Ellen's dance party?), but for a nerd, he's got some swagger. Those smooth Diddy-esque shots of Obama leaving planes in a great suit and sunglasses are probably the best source of comedy material about him (the Scarlett Johannsen joke got closest to it), but Armisen doesn't incorporate that stylishness into his caricature. Instead, he gives us with a halting, closed-off wonk.

SNL needs someone who can come off confident and unflappable. Someone who can hop from serious expressions to bright grins. Someone who can capture Obama's charm in a slightly oversized way, and make us laugh from the recognition. They need Tim Meadows.



So why not let Armisen off the hook and call him up? I'm sure he's got less to do these days than Tina Fey! And btw, Michelle Obama's going to be the first lady soon. Let's not give make-up artists a migraine trying to make Kristen Wiig presentable for the role.

Too Great For Two Terms

As pundits get over the shock of John McCain not soiling himself - and polls reveal that "middle class" means more than "surge," the question as far as historic parallels are concerned is going to shift from which Democratic candidate does Obama resemble to which Democratic president. McCain recalled the elder George Bush (grumpy old man unenthusiastically pushing a two-termer's tired philosophy) enough that you wondered whether Obama was Clinton or Dukakis. Unless McCain is actually Aaron Burr, I think we got this one locked.

To sooth my remaining history-based concern, I really want to read up on the Carter administration, and see if there are some flagrant differences between his and Obama's sensibilities and practices. I'd love to stop imagining Obama competing for the title of Most Admirable One-Termer, with Romney as Reagan.

Think LCD Soundsystem Would Let McCain Play This At Rallies?

MCCAIN 2008: I WAS THERE!