Saturday, April 26, 2008

My eyebrows ain't plucked, there's a gun in my truck.

Songs new to the Billboard Top 50 singles chart, and the top debut.

#23 (debut): Mariah Carey, "Bye Bye"
A snap ballad for anyone who ever lost anyone without getting to say "bye bye, bye bye, bye bye."

#40 (from #81): Nelly feat. Fergie, "Party People"
I declare their speed-rap battle a tie. No one wins.

#41 (from #54): Brad Paisley, "I'm Still A Guy"
Reaffirmations of male jealousy and horniness are cute enough, but the song sours with a verse about metrosexuality no modern country star should dare. "Yeah, with all of these men linin' up to get neutered, it's hip now to be feminized." Someone who looks this much like a porn star shouldn't be mocking "facials."

#44 (from #53): Ashanti, "The Way That I Love You"
It seems commercial anxiety has Ashanti pretending she's Beyonce. Why she chose "psychotic with jealousy" Beyonce is beyond me, because "psychotic with jealousy" is beyond her.

#48 (from #61): Three Doors Down, "It's Not My Time"
It seems commercial anxiety has inspired Three Doors Down to release a song with a beat. It's possible they've done this since "Kryptonite" and I just missed it; there have been years where I've left Three Doors Down to their own devices.

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